Many folks think of polyamory as a sexual lifestyle, but it’s more about communication, openness, and independence. The word itself means many loves and emotional connection is key to it. It isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, and polyamorous relationships can take many different forms. While we’re used to a heteronormative concept of romance that treats ‘couples’ as the default. In polyamory, relationships are custom-tailored to fit the needs and circumstances of the people in them.

There’s no one size fits all approach, no right or wrong answer to how to date and love, and no mold your relationship has to fit in. For those who are in the queer community, polyamory can be thought of as an extension of families of choice.

What is Polyamory?

Polyamory is a different way of looking at romantic relationships. Accordingly, it opens the door to all kinds of creative romantic connections. Because we’re trained by society to look for labels, it’s a little jarring when we bump into a system like polyamory that is so rooted in a tailored approach to handling love.

Polyamory emphasizes interdependence, growth, and love, rather than fear and insecurity. It treats our needs and desires as a problem we solve as a team.

Polyamory Isn’t All About Sex

It’s important to emphasize that polyamory isn’t all about sex. Ideally, polyamorous relationships are more sexually satisfying and open, but the cornerstone of any healthy polyamorous relationship is honesty, trust, and communication. Many monogamous relationships run aground over the breakdown in household chores, financial disputes, or other issues. Polyamorous relationships still face all those same problems.

Polyamory isn’t a quick fix to a troubled relationship. It takes hard work, vulnerability, and the ability to communicate openly

How Common is Polyamory?

While some studies estimate that roughly 5% of the population actively practices some form of polyamory, others put the number much higher. Other studies put that number much higher, but what’s clear regardless is that polyamory is far more common than people might think. In queer communities, that number is likely even greater.

Polyamory & Queer Communities

In some ways, queer communities come with polyamory baked in. Often, in the queer community, we’re inclined to maintain close connections with exes because our support systems are limited. Any number of polyamorous relationships look like extended families. A couple that’s been together for a long time and has lost their physical spark might open things up to allow each other to explore new partners. That individual might be involved romantically with one or both of them. He may have his own boyfriend or partner that is similarly either involved or not.

What to Consider Abot Polyamorous Relationships

If you’re considering polyamory, there are tons of websites and resources available to help you get situated. In addition, here are some points you (or you and your partner!) should consider if you’re discussing opening up your relationship:

What are your hopes for exploring polyamory?

How are you going to deal with jealousy when it comes up? (it will!)

What are our boundaries & expectations for ourselves & each other?

How will we maintain open communication & transparency?

Maybe you don’t mind if your partner dates other people, but you don’t want to wake up to find him eating breakfast with another guy in your kitchen. Discussing hypotheticals is a good way to take your own temperature and figure out how you’ll react to some of those situations.

Schedule a Consultation

Are you curious about polyamory and interested in exploring it further? If so, I provide support and understanding for individuals who are either interested in or already embracing polyamory in their relationships. Navigating the complexities of polyamory can be challenging, but you don't have to do it alone. Reach out to me for support on your journey toward fulfilling and authentic relationships. To take the first step, schedule a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation, and let's explore how I can assist you in finding inner peace and embracing your authentic self.

Note: This blog post is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for medical or therapeutic advice.